You clicked on this article because you have some interest in bullies and perhaps you are the bully. If you’re a bully and you clicked to read this, then I applaud you for your bravery. This is probably the first bit of courage you’ve shown in a long time.

Yes, you can stop being a bully. It’s a very easy thing to do, but first you need to know the facts and it may make you more comfortable to stop their bullying behavior. Here are your snippets of information first. If you think that bullies are in charge or that bullies have any sense of power, you are wrong in your thinking and I will explain that statement to you. If you think you’ll get away with bullying people forever, that’s also wrong thinking. If you think bullying will make your life better, you are wrong again. If you think you have many friends, genuine friends, you are wrong again. Those are incorrect thoughts or conclusions about bullying and bullies. I think one of the most important things I can tell you about bullies is that bullies always lose. Sometimes they win the battle, temporarily, but if you read the story, the bullies always lose.

Here’s how to stop bullying, step by step:

  • First, you should know that you can have better friends, more sincere friends, more lasting and valuable friends once you stop bullying people. Others have friends, not because of power, but because they are themselves, because they are kind and friendly.

  • Friendship takes time. And usually any and all friends of stalkers are fake friends. Do you want fake friends? I don’t believe it. So make an effort to make friends, real friends, not just people who are afraid of you.

  • Having friends who are not afraid of you is a much more rewarding experience. So work on it.

  • Tell your close friends that you are tired of being a bully and that you are going to take your hat back.

  • Ask your friends and even people who aren’t your friends how they can help you stop bullying people. They may be surprised by the question, but they may also embrace the idea because they know it’s correct. Yes, it’s okay to stop bullying.

  • Pick up some books from the library on meditation, zen, and peace, and see what practices you can incorporate into your own life.

  • Start your own club, but make it a positive and constructive club that people would like to join and be a part of. For example, start a missions club or a craft club or start a club to help other people. Start a pen pal club or exercise club. You may need help with some of these from adults or professionals. Do it. You can start today by stopping your aggressive words and actions.

Step number one: in your healing. Yes, this is your own healing. Step number one is to stop making fun of other human beings. If you can stop this one thing in your life, you will be on the right path to success. Give it a try today, just stop making fun of people.

(Original article 2008; recently updated in 2016)